Thank you for all of the comments you shared with me and for your stories.
This is an outrage. Some of the horrible medical nightmares many of you have faced are outrageous. I have received 1335 email message in one day about horror stories with Tricare and will respond to each one of them - just be patient if it’s not tomorrow!
Clearly something needs to change.
I plan on contacting Tricare representatives and on taking action in concrete ways.
I am sorry you had to go through so much pain after giving so much for your country.
Thank you again for your honesty,
Anita
Posted by Anita @
02:55 AM |
Come on you know you love it, they love it and it’s good for them.
My kids love sweets and having them snack on Yoplait yougurt is so much better than the usual packets of raw sugar I feed them. The Yogurt is great, especially the characters they have on the cartons.
Can you resist Dora and Diego? It’s pratically eating with your kids’ celebrity idols. Hey, one of my little one (I have 6), age 2, even has conversations with them:
Daughter: “Dora do you want to eat my yogurt?” Tries to push spoon over the Yoplait Yogurt Dora image
Dora: “Thank you Eva, but I want my own yogurt, can you ask your mommy?”
Daughter: “Mommyyyyyyy…. Dora wants her own Yogurt ….can you get it for her?”
But it’s not just my younger kids who like it, it’s my older ones too. My 7 and 5 year olds have requested it in their lunch boxes.
If you don’t already have it - try it out with this coupon!
And of course thanks to the awesome Parent Bloggers Network for introducing my children to their idols.
I have two great give aways for all of you out there email me and after 500pm tonight I will pick two winners!
Enjoy your Yogurt!
Posted by Anita @
12:26 PM |
I am posting my interview with Michelle Obama also available at Military.com.
Q. In recent history, the military vote has been generally Republican. Is this because of spin or substance, and what can the Democrats do to change the trend?
The broken politics in Washington have left our troops and their families without many of the resources that they deserve. People are tired of it. Too many military families feel as though they’re struggling alone. I think that what our servicemen and women and their families are asking for is for a leader who understands their sacrifices and will make it a priority to honor America’s sacred trust with our troops.
That’s the idea at the core of Barack’s campaign—that we’re all in this together. That when our nation goes to war, our entire nation is at war—not just the military.
People in the armed forces aren’t asking for much. They’re just asking for a country that understands the burden on their families and the many challenges that they face as part of their extraordinary commitment to the nation.
I think as people become acquainted with Barack, they see how much he cares about military families, and how deep his commitment is to serving them better. We now have a chance to elect a leader who is truly committed to upholding the pact that we’ve made with our troops—to look out for their families while they’re overseas looking out for us.
Q. Sacrifice is a big theme for military families. As a working mother, what sort of sacrifices have you had to make for your children, or your husband? What sacrifices has he had to make for you?
I do not want to compare my experience to the extraordinary sacrifices our military families make. As every working mother understands, there will always be hard choices that must be made to keep our families happy and whole. But I don’t see these choices as sacrifices. I’m happy to make them. Someone has to be focusing on the kids, making them feel safe and grounded, and that’s me. And I love that job.
Everything that Barack and I do, all the choices we make, are for the benefit of our two little girls. Barack spends the majority of his time away from his family, on the road, because he is determined to change Washington, so that instead of just talking about family values, we actually implement policies that value families.
He is working every day so that our children—and all of our country’s children—will grow up healthy and safe, in a world where they can pursue their dreams without anything standing in their way.
Q. Military moms certainly know what it’s like to juggle family and career under stress, how have you managed to balance career and family?
Like the women I’ve met across the country, I play many different roles. I’m a wife, a working woman, a daughter, a sister, and a best friend. But most importantly, I’m a mom. No matter where I am—at work, on the campaign trail, you name it—my girls are always on my mind. Finding a balance between all of these roles is something that I’ve dealt with throughout my marriage. Barack and I know that we’re lucky to have access to the resources we need to hold it together during all of this wonderful chaos. And Barack and I know that we’re particularly lucky to have the greatest resource anyone could have—my mother, who lives nearby and stays with the girls when I’m on the road for my husband. But we know that many families across America aren’t that lucky. That’s why as president, Barack will make supporting families a priority.
Q. You have mentioned before “I think that the American people… are ready to have somebody that they can believe in and that they can connect to.” How do you feel military families will connect to you and your husband? I think that military families will connect to the genuine respect and concern that Barack and I have for our servicemen and women and their families. If Barack has the honor of serving as our next President of the United States, he is committed to fighting for military families. That commitment is the key to establishing a real trust and partnership between the people in the military and the country that they serve every day.
As his First Lady, I will continue to hold the roundtable discussions with military spouses that I’ve been having during the campaign. Because the Commander-in-Chief doesn’t just need to know how to lead the military—he also needs to understand what war does to military families.
Q. What specific initiatives would an Obama presidency undertake for the benefit of military families?
Barack understands that when our military goes to war, their families go with them. As president, he will improve how our government supports military families. Barack’s plan for military families emphasizes predictable deployments, so units have time to retrain and re-equip—and families have time to reconnect. Predictable deployments create healthier families, healthier troops, and a healthier military. And Barack will expand the Family and Medial Leave Act so it covers reserve families, so when a reservist is called up, the spouse can take time off work to get their family’s affairs in order. He’ll also expand the Vet Centers that provide critical services like counseling, mental health care, and employment assistant. And he’ll create a 21st century VA that offers world-class care—and rejects the idea that we should only treat combat injuries, while passing on those sustained in training or on the dock of an aircraft carrier, for example.
And when our loved ones return home, Barack’s plan will offer them the same opportunity that his grandfather had under the GI Bill—the guarantee of a real chance to afford a college education. Barack was a strong supporter of Senator Jim Webb’s 21st Century GI Bill, which not only covers tuition for service members, but also allows them to transfer their education benefits to their spouses or children.
Q. What would you say to convince military moms to vote Obama?
One of the things I’ve been doing, which I’ve found so important during the course of this campaign, is having conversations with military spouses, primarily women—sharing our stories and our concerns. And what I’ve been hearing again and again is, while their loved ones are deployed, these women are fighting their own battles at home. They’re doing their best to hold it together. And they feel like they’re doing it all alone. But the truth is, we’re all in this together. Barack believes that deeply. He also understands that our sacred trust with our military families does not end with they leave combat. We owe it to our service members to give them the support they need when they come home. Our military families shouldn’t have to carry the burdens of war alone. As president, he will invest in services that support them.
Q. What would you say to those critics who say opposition to the war is opposition to the military?
I absolutely disagree. Barack Obama is not against all wars. He is against wars that are misconceived and do not take into account the sacrifices the military makes during times of war. The Iraq war never should have been authorized and never should have been waged. We’ve been through six years of war that have stretched and strained our military and their families, and we will have spent trillions of dollars in the process. But opposing the war in no way means opposing the brave men and women who are fighting the war. We can support them strongly, and need to as we refocus on the central front in the war on terror which is and has always been Afghanistan. We can move forward with a new plan that will make our country and the world a safer place.
Q. The military lifestyle is really designed around a previous era, in which women usually stayed home with the kids, but economic necessity and social mores have changed. How can the military do a better job of helping modern families?
Something that I think those outside of the military sometimes don’t realize is that many military families are struggling with the same economic downturn that everybody else is struggling with—but they also have a whole set of additional challenges.
We all need to find ways to do more to support these families. It starts with developing jobs, making housing affordable and making childcare more accessible to families on a tight budget.
Q. Do you think this war has brought more attention to military families and their stresses?
Absolutely. It has drawn much-needed attention to the sacrifices that our servicemen and women and their families make in order to serve our country.
Q. You’ve lost your ability to be anonymous rather quickly, what are the pros and cons of being a sudden celebrity?
I’m grateful for the attention, because it lets me be a stronger voice for working women and military families. I can bring the issues that are important to them to the forefront of a national political discussion. It’s a great gift.
Q. What is the hardest thing you have to do as a mother, especially on the campaign trial?
My staff has been excellent about honoring my commitment to my girls. Still, spending time out on the road instead of at home with them is the hardest thing about campaigning. Whether I’m in Chicago or on the road, they’re always on my mind, from the moment I wake up in the morning until right before I fall asleep at night.
Q. What does your husband depend on you for?
Holding everything together and keeping our home in order while he’s away. We’re each other’s best friends and closest advisors.
Q. How are the children taking all the changes, and do you try insulate them?
Barack and I are very proud of the way the girls have handled themselves during this campaign. Luckily, they’re still at an age where they’re not that concerned with what’s happening with the campaign. When they come home in the afternoons, they don’t want to know how my day went—it’s more like, “Let me tell you what happened at camp today.” There are these two wonderful little people who run around our house and keep us grounded.
We protect them the best as we can. We’re figuring it out. We’ve gotten some great advice from people like Hillary Clinton and Tipper Gore, who have been in this situation before and handled it wonderfully.
Q. What is your favorite thing about your husband?
There really isn’t just one thing. Barack is a wonderful partner, husband and father.
Q. What is the thing you wish the media would stop asking and what do you wish the media would focus on instead?
I wish that the media wouldn’t get distracted by the petty campaign back-and-forth and negative attacks. I’d rather they pay more attention to the issues that matter most to hard-working Americans, like skyrocketing gas and food prices, access to quality and affordable health care, bringing the war in Iraq to a responsible end, creating great schools, and policies that help parents figure out the work/life balance.
Q. In an Obama Presidency, what’s the one food or drink you make sure is well stocked at the White House, for yourself and your family.
French fries – they’re my ultimate weakness!
Posted by Anita @
02:46 PM |
I wish that I had something good to say about my experience with Tricare and military medicine, but today I don’t. While I am fully aware that there are plenty of excellent physicians and medical professionals who do a great job taking care of their patients, I feel disappointed and frustrated with a system that sometimes doesn’t take care of its customers.
I know you are going to send me lots of emails (some angry) telling me how fortunate I am to be part of such a great system when so many people don’t have health insurance. And that is true. But I have also witnessed bureaucracy at its worst, and a system that is sometimes difficult for dependents to navigate.
Example 1: When we adopted our son from overseas, I called to ask about standard blood tests and a physical examination, recommended by our adoption specialist. The nurse at our local military clinic told me that I could only bring him in if he were sick, otherwise I had to wait for a well baby check. Really? A well baby check when this child has just arrived from an African orphanage? Turned out he had lots of health issues that needed immediate attention which he received when I took him to a civilian pediatrician.
Example 2: When I was pregnant with my last baby I was told that I wouldn’t be able to see a doctor or a nurse before week 12 of my pregnancy despite the fact that I had numerous mis-carriages, low progesterone, needed shots during the first part of my pregnancy, and had thyroid disease. I fought this one, but the doctor told me that they still wouldn’t see me before week 12 – their policy, nothing they could do about it. OK so maybe a mis-carriage isn’t high on their priority list. Again, I contacted an ob/gyn in town who monitored me closely.
Example 3: my husband has been ill for a few weeks and we have encountered the Bureaucratic Tricare Monster at its worst. Instead of being released from the hospital with home care (a nurse comes to our house to administer IV medicine) as ordered by his physicians, it took two days for the civilian hospital to get an approval pushed through Tricare. The solution? My husband was told he had to stay in the hospital, costing Tricare far more than if it had approved care at home.
I know it’s not all as bad as it was in these specific instances. Military medical professionals are stretched thin and working hard, usually with good results and Tricare does come through most of the times.
But my point, and I do have one besides my ranting, is that military medicine, and Tricare especially, can be too rigid. Its strength is that we have access to health care, but the downside is a lot of bureaucracy and lack of flexibility. Sometimes I feel as if I am dealing with the paperwork machine of civilian medicine, which is a shame.
Access to care for active duty and dependents needs to be a priority if the military wants to keep its word that we are all part of a large family.
Posted by Anita @
01:53 AM |
I am trying to learn one thing as I grow older. Yes, even I attempt to grasp higher truths, and these are not tips to be a better cook or crafty mom because they are impossible tasks for my incapable hands, but notions that I really have no control over most things that happen in my life. I am a passenger, ok a backseat-driver kind of passenger, but a passenger nonetheless.
On some level I know this from clear empirical data, no matter how much I plan things they always unfold in different ways, but on another level I resist it. My weak and faulty nature tries to convince me that I am really the boss, so I keep trying to exercise some type of control over my life, much like I try to exercise some type of control over my frizzy hair with very poor results on both accounts.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when this weekend my frizz reached uncontrollable levels and my husband woke up with a ‘ginormous’ swelling on his back. His ribs were significantly pushed back in some sort of hunch. I cheered him up by telling him that he could audition for a Broadway production of Hunchback of Notre Dame and told him to immediately go to the Emergency Room. But he, being a man, rejected both suggestions and told me that it was probably a pulled muscle or something — of course he didn’t elaborate on the something — and instead insisted that we go on about ‘our plans’ of getting to church to meet some friends.
While in the car, he got violently ill and we rushed to the E.R while he turned a dark shade of blue. After a few hours of waiting and tests, we were told that he was very sick indeed, thus his blue coloring and hunched back, and that he has a very large infection in his stomach, perhaps related to his burst appendix and numerous complications from two years ago, and that that they were going to do surgery in the next few days.
For someone like me, who likes to be in charge it’s not easy to deal with change that doesn’t originate from my busy mind and come to terms with the truth that I have no control over this situation, especially when I see my husband sick and in pain – he is now a light shade of blue. I alternate between telling myself that everything happens for a reason and feeling frustrated and exhausted – I still have my six little children to focus on while I go back and forth between hospital, home, and their various activities.
But, things could be much worse. So every morning when I wake up, I have tried to accept my frizzy hair and our present circumstances the best way I can. I try to remember that I have to enjoy this ride with frizzy hair and hospital stays because I am not the one in control and hopefully I can find peace to face whatever comes next.
Posted by Anita @
03:07 PM |
I am not a show-your-boob-while-you-breastfeed type of mom. But I respect anyone’s personal style, full view, partial view or no view at all. The way a mom decides to breastfeed her child is her own business and not mine to judge.
This said, I was extremely surprised when, while discretely breastfeeding my daughter at the mall, a military man, dressed in uniform, told me that what I was doing was appalling and shouldn’t be done in public. Luckily (for him) he spoke quickly and walked away just as fast, but I couldn’t believe a man would go out of his way to tell me something like this when, despite my Italian heritage in which seeing naked breasts and tight buns on the evening news is expected, I choose a more conservative approach to nursing my children.
I have mastered a perfect technique for breastfeeding in public, greatly encouraged by my Ninja husband who wouldn’t take well to a public display of nipples. If I’m in a public place, I sit in an out of the way spot, adjust my cotton blanket over my shoulder and the baby, and then latch her on with nothing visible to the outside world, unless someone has x-ray goggles. How can I be sure? Because of my slightly obsessive-compulsive nature, I have checked over and over in front of a mirror, standing, sitting and walking around: nope, not a hint of a boob.
I think this really shouldn’t matter though. The way a woman nurses her child is her right and no one else’s business. Did the prude who disapproved of me at the mall go over the Victoria’s Secret and tell them to cover up the mannequins? Probably not, so how is that consistent?
Despite the fact that I feel strongly about my “breastfeeding rights” (and just because I used the term, I am not a militant breast Nazi) I didn’t have a good come back for this rude man. I just kept feeding the baby and clutched my blanket even tighter. Practically speaking, I couldn’t have run after this man with the baby attached to my boob, but I wish I had said something.
Truthfully I just felt badly and very uneasy about this little incident.
When I got home I was curious to know the actual laws about breastfeeding, so I looked them up. In nearly every state, breastfeeding is specifically allowed in public – full or no view – so no one should be harassed or asked to leave a public place. There are even organizations that advocate on behalf of women who have been harassed about breastfeeding. Firstright.org and Naab.com are two examples. Their approach is more along the “be proud of those nipples!” type, but they make very good points.
I like to know my rights and will probably never go to the full-view style, but I believe that no one should be a jerk to a breastfeeding mom. Breastfeeding is a woman’s rights and no one should be made to feel uncomfortable about it.
If it bothers you, don’t look.
Posted by Anita @
04:44 PM |
I woke up in a cold sweat because I realized I failed to share with you my foolproof and infallible method for choosing the right candidate to be President. After hours of arduous work to uncover the secrets and hidden agendas of the candidates, thorough research and professional investigative work (which involved my laptop, Google searches, bottles of Chardonnay and Merlot and even the champagne of beers Miller Hi life) I came up with crucial information about presidential hopefuls John McCain and Barack Obama - things that you must absolutely keep in mind when casting your vote.
The Look. I like to start with the look. Choosing a political candidate without considering his looks would be dangerously countercultural. It’s what’s on the outside that counts. So even though McCain should be beyond scrutiny because he was a prisoner of war, I read with interest information about his age and health issues, and clearly conclude that he has too many wrinkles.
On the other hand, Obama is well within the parameter of my look scrutiny and he passes with flying colors. Yes, he is after all an attractive man (minus the ears), though a bit dorky, but good looking enough that he could certainly sway my vote on election day.
The Wives. Next, I take into consideration the candidates’ wives because I know they are the ones who really make the important decisions. McCain’s wife is super human. It’s as if she came off Olympus. What’s more, she is extremely wealthy, and as my husband often reminds me, her money comes from beer, a revered beverages. Cindy McCain is also a fan of car racing. I value beauty, money and beer above all else, so she gets high marks in my book.
Michelle Obama, on the other hand, is a real person and suffers by comparison with Cindy because she possesses the human qualities that I struggle with, like a bad hair day or unflattering clothes or trying to balance job and family while her husband drags her around the country. So she is one of the girls. And she also gets a high mark in my election day book.
The Faux Pas. Because of the great privilege of being followed by the media 24/7, I get the chance to scrutinize every word out of the candidates’ mouths. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that McCain cannot be trusted with foreign policy when he jokes that ‘the only good Iranian is a dead Iranian!’, or that Obama could hardly handle domestic policies if he thinks there are ’58 states’ in the US. What if he starts concentrating on the other 8 states? I say, let’s mike them in the bathroom and I can finally get to the crucial information I need to cast my vote.
In pre-historic times, we used to judge candidates based on their opinions on the matters of the day, but thank goodness those backward days are gone. Look how much better informed we are today. Just follow my lead and forget about those trivial issues like tax cuts, the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, and healthcare and you will certainly pick the best man for the job.
Posted by Anita @
06:03 PM |
My home town of Rome has a nice and mild climate. We usually have four seasons and no extreme weather. I never experienced a tornado until I moved to the United States. Actually, it wasn’t until I moved away from New York City and Uncle Sam started moving our family around the country to places that were prone to tornadoes, which seemed to be everywhere we moved.
Tornadoes were a foreign concept to me. The first time I heard a tornado siren on a military base I ran outside and was afraid that someone had invaded U.S. soil. My neighbor at the time explained that it was a tornado warning, and thought it was very funny that I didn’t know.
But to me, tornadoes were something out of a fantastic story like the Wizard of Oz, and only happened in far away lands like Oklahoma and Texas, maybe Kansas. I didn’t know I was going to marry a military man and actually live in those far away places, so I wasn’t aware of safety measures, sirens, or places to hide in case of a tornado.
My lack of experience, coupled with my anxious tendencies, made me extremely fearful of tornadoes. I quickly became obsessed with checking the weather channel if I knew thunderstorms were moving to our area. I forced my children to repeatedly practice getting in the bathtub, all five of us plus the two dogs and cat with their leashes to our side. The “beep beep beeeeep” followed by “a tornado warning has been issued for the following counties…” always made my heart skip a beat and sent me into a state of panic.
My husband has tried to tell me not to fear tornadoes, to take precautions but think that the chance of being in a tornado’s path is so low, and I shouldn’t obsess over it. The chances of being in a car accident are much higher. He’s right, but I’m also terrified about being in a car accident, so that didn’t help.
With my husband’s frequent deployments, I try to set a good example for my children and I decided to work on my tornado fear, because my daughters were starting to follow in their mother’s footsteps. On a day of heavy rain, I took the opportunity to get over my fear, so I took the kids to school and went about my day regardless of the weather.
I relaxed. This wasn’t so bad after all. Then, as I looked out the driver’s window, I saw in the distance what looked like a tornado. I thought that for sure it was something else. What were the chances of me trying to face my fears and actually seeing a tornado? (I momentarily forgot about Murphy’s Law).
I was shocked when a few minutes later my children’s schools called to tell me that several tornadoes had been spotted and that the kids were taking cover in the hallways but were safe.
Goodness gracious! I actually saw one of the tornadoes! I couldn’t wait to e-mail my husband and tell him that he was actually wrong, that I was right and that I saw a tornado, until I realized that he was actually right because I wasn’t in the tornado’s path, and I was still alive to e-mail him.
I began to think that maybe I wasn’t as afraid as I thought. I know what to do if there is a tornado and I follow the precautions. Perhaps my fear is more about the fact that they are unexpected and unknown. I guess they are — like many other things in life — unexpected, sometimes scary and occasionally dangerous, but all we can do is prepare and ultimately do our best.
I survived seeing a tornado. That’s a milestone for me. Will I be driving with a tornado warning? Nope, I am not that brave, but I am more comfortable with these meteorological oddities and more confident that we can face anything that comes our way.
Posted by Anita @
01:09 AM |
For some odd reason my husband and I have become obsessed with Harry Potter. I know the books and the movies have been on for a while but what can I say we work to our own beat, a slow one at times.
But now we are really into it and are in fact thinking of going to see the next Harry Potter’s movie (out in November) dressed like Harry and Hermione.
This has caught on with my kids who also seem to want to watch the movies 24/7. My D5 (daughter number 5) who is not even two years old talks about Dumbledore and Harry and Snape….I wonder if this will have some lasting damage on her little psyche…..
Expecto Petronus…….
Posted by Anita @
10:00 PM |
I have already established that my husband is a Ninja and possesses super-powers - so obviously women are drawn to him, which is never a good thing. Luckily, he is not a flirt but, nonetheless this situation can be rather annoying for the Ninja’s wife, a.k.a. me.
Overall, I trust my husband because death awaits him if he betrays me and because truth be told he is a really outstanding guy. But men can be weak when it comes to female attention, and the prospect of steamy sexual encounters can tempt anyone, even Ninjas.
Whenever I mention men’s weak self-control, my husband tells me that I am crazy and that I shouldn’t worry about this kind of stuff - he never does. Of course. He doesn’t have to worry about me because 1. I don’t have much adult interaction 2. I have six children ages 7 and under and 3. the only adult males I could theoretically develop a crush on are my pediatrician and ob/gyn or, maybe, just maybe a male blogger like Black Hockey Jesus (although who knows about his real name or physical appearance for that matter), but the logistics of an affair for a mom of small children are nearly impossible. Meet at the McDonald’s drive through with the kids in tow?
My sometimes obsession with this issue is partly justified because of my background. In Italy, land of pasta and passion, affairs and openly accepted and even encouraged in the macho world as some sort of recreational activity.
I have always known this - so why I am writing about this now?
I recently met a woman, a temptress, who has been way too friendly with my husband. Tall, blond, blue eyes, and with very large boobs she loves to show off - hey, even I cannot keep my eyes on her face when she is talking with those see through tank tops and perky nipples - she has been flirting quite a bit with my hubby.
Of course he tells me that I imagine things and that he hasn’t even noticed the woman’s bosom, but he does laugh while he says it. And while I know that flirting can be perfectly innocent, I think about how easy it is to get hurt by someone I love and how quickly things can change.
Which brings me to the one conclusion I always go back to. I can never be really sure of anything except for my own very large and orgasmic chocolate supply which I know will never flirt with anyone else but me.
Posted by Anita @
04:58 PM |
